None the less, we must open our eyes to her mistakes and learn from them as well. We would be foolish to not do so.

In the Genesis 25-28 account of Isaac and Rebekah we find that Rebekah enters into purposed deception of her husband. She involves her favorite son in this deception by dressing him in goat skins and sending him in with stew — a pretense of Esau returning from the countryside with stew made from hunted game. It worked…seemingly. But let’s look at some of the immediate and long-term fruit of this deception.

Isaac, her husband, was visibly shaken when he discovered he’d been tricked out of giving the blessing to his first-born.

“Then Isaac trembled greatly…” Gen. 27.33

Consider Isaac. He’s quite old in years. Esau is his first born son whom he loves dearly. He was eager to bless him, looking forward to that momentous occasion. Suddenly he finds that he has been robbed of this, a father’s great joy. Not only does this bring more damage to the unity they should be experiencing as man and wife, it grieves him; it breaks his father’s heart and belittles his manhood. It is crushing to him, resulting in emotional and physical shaking. She was not created for this but has willingly become a tool of Satan in this situation.

Some of us have done similar damage; some of us have harmed rather than helped, torn down instead of building, discouraged when we should have imparted words of faith and confidence. Is the damage too much? Is it beyond repair? Nothing is too difficult for God when we come to Him, repent, and obey. His grace and mercy is more than enough. We must simply humble ourselves before God and man. He gives grace to the humble. Building can start again, renewed trust can be gained in time. Do it now. It is not too late.

And what became of her beloved Jacob, her favorite son to whom she taught deception? What fruit was borne in his life? There is a scriptural principle: you reap what you sow. Jacob sowed deception and his life reaped deception bountifully.

His father-in-law deceived him, giving him Leah instead of Rachel. “And he said to Laban, ‘What is this you have done to me? Was it not for Rachel that I served you? Why then have you deceived me?’” Gen. 29.25

Later in Jacob’s life his sons deceive him and bring him great sorrow. They sell his son, Joseph, as a slave and tell him that Joseph was killed. It is a sorrowful story of contention and strife amongst siblings resulting in Jacob’s broken heart. Something about this story sounds vaguely familiar, like a rerun or something.

Jacob served Laban, his father-in-law for 20 years. He sorrowed needlessly over Joseph for 22 years before being reunited. “…few and evil have been the days of the years of my life…” Gen 47.9 Those were Jacob’s final words. A life marked by deception.

Let’s consider Esau, also caught in this web of deception woven by Rebekah. He became a man consumed with bitterness. “So Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father blessed him, and Esau said in his heart, ‘The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then I will kill my brother Jacob.’” Gen. 27.41 Sounds like a breach to me.

The breach went beyond his sibling relationship. He despised his parents as well. “Also Esau saw that the daughters of Canaan did not please his father Isaac. So Esau went to Ishmael and took Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael, Abraham’s son, the sister of Nebajoth, to be his wife in addition to the wives he had.” Gen. 28.8,9 His goal was to inflict pain, to repay hurt for hurt, a vicious cycle that is never satisfied.

Rebekah herself was not exempt from suffering the consequence of her deception. There is no indication that her marriage with Isaac is ever fully restored to a place of unity. She does go on to make an appeal regarding Jacob marrying a daughter of the land of Canaan; Isaac responds by sending him back to her brother to find a wife. That’s a marked improvement, no doubt.

More painful than anything must have been her need to protect Jacob from his older brother, Esau. Rebekah sends Jacob away into exile to find safety; she never saw him again. Quite a price to pay, I would say.

Does the impact of deception and treachery end there? No, it is never that simple. Esau’s descendants, the Edomites, were enemies of Israel (Jacob) for generations. Scripture records their refusal to let Israel pass through their land (Numbers 20.14-21) and we find in I Kings 11.14-25 that Hadad, a royal Edomite, was Solomon’s great enemy. In the New Testament we discover the “clan of Herods” to have descended from Edom, including Herod the great (killed the infants at Jesus birth), Herod Antipas (took John the Baptist’s head), and Herod Agrippa (executed James and imprisoned Peter). Nice crowd.

Isaac’s spiritual blindness is no excuse for Rebekah’s sin and scheming. Two wrongs make… more wrong, more sin. She could have, and should have, broken the sin pattern. Someone needs to change — why not the wife?

Men failing to lead does not exempt us from our call to submission. When women take over, men are further weakened. Men need women who will support them so they can grow in strength and confidence. After all, theirs is no easy call, no “walk in the park”.

I leave you with a quote. Unfortunately, I don’t know where I got it from so it can not be properly credited. But it’s too good to pass up.

“Rebellion is the fruit of misplaced confidence in self. Submission is the fruit of confidence in God.”

Get out your 3×5 cards and write it down. That’s one worth remembering in my book.

Now we will find that Rebekah fails to trust Isaac, her husband. More importantly she fails to trust God.

First of all, let me say right here that this trust issue is a tricky one. Are some men more trustworthy than others? Yes. Plain and simple, yes. All men have track records: the good records commend our trust, the bad ones do not. Is any man 100% trustworthy, infallible in every way? No, not one.

Like I said, this is a tricky issue. The bottom line is this: our trust ultimately must lie in God. Our husbands may earn our trust over time. Even so there will be decisions made and situations thrust upon us which will go beyond that trust and drive us to our knees, requiring us to recognize His supreme care in our lives.

Basically, there are two levels of trust required in a healthy marriage: one is conditional in measure, needing to be proven, earned over time. The other is infinite and absolute, fully proven for all eternity beyond a shadow of a doubt on a cross long ago. When the first trust is shaken or untried and insecure our trust in God can prevail. This is the trust that Rebekah failed to reach for.

Rebekah loved Jacob; Isaac loved Esau. Rebekah had received a word from the Lord concerning Jacob’s promotion over his elder brother, Esau. How would this come to pass, especially given Isaac’s preference for Esau? As the time of Isaac’s death grew near, she became concerned that Jacob receive the blessing of the firstborn rather than Esau. She contrived to take matters into her own hands through deception. She failed to trust God for the fulfillment of His word.

Rebekah has lived with Isaac many years now. She has seen his mistakes, disagreed with his choices, perhaps even felt disappointment and hurt. Now she is involved in a situation involving God’s will and destiny for her favorite son. It appears that once again Isaac will miss or overlook God’s plan for his own personal choice. What is a woman, a wife, a mother to do? How can she sit by and watch this happen?

1. Focus on our accountability to God.
What has he called you to do? Before concerning yourself with your husband’s responsibilities look to your own. Are you showing him respect? Is unity being cultivated in your heart? Are you walking in careful obedience? Do your words reflect honor toward him? These are things God requires of you. Keep focused on these.

2. Gently and respectfully remind him of God’s words.
A help meet is not a doormat. Silence when words are needed is not helpful. The withholding of Godly counsel is not love. You have been given to him for such a time as this. Share the word with this confidence — it will not return void and will accomplish that for which it was intended.

3. Make a Godly appeal.
You’ve walked in respect and love. You’ve shared the word of God. A decision has been made which you question. Now is the time for a Godly appeal. A Godly appeal is timely, respectful, creative, well-crafted. Don’t spring it on him when he’s exhausted, don’t harangue him, don’t “wing it”. Make sure you have taken time to plan and think it through, to prepare with prayer and fasting if needed, and to be backed by the Word of God for the sake of faith and confidence. For Biblical examples read Daniel 1.3-15 and Esther 5, 6, & 7.

4. Sit back and watch God work it out His way.
This can be the fun part.
But it can also be the hardest part. God does not always do things our way. It may appear to get worse before it gets better. But remember where your trust lies. His faithfulness reaches to the clouds, His mercies are new every morning. Isaac may have given the firstborn blessing to Esau. Who can say? But this I can say — God’s will would not have been hindered by Isaac’s “mistake” (if indeed it would have been one.) God works in mysterious ways, and His ways are certainly not our ways. Allow His peace to be your portion as you release these things into His loving hand.

Learning to trust God as our husbands lead is a lesson vital to the health and success of any marriage. And He is more than worthy of your trust!

On to Rebekah, the first woman in our series, Women of the Bible.

Last week we introduced Rebekah, recognizing her willingness, trust in God, and faith. She was off to a great start. But what happened in the years that followed?

For twenty years, Rebekah was barren. The scripture records that Isaac prayed to the Lord on her behalf and she became pregnant with twin boys. Wrestling matches within her womb had caused her to inquire of the Lord. God told her that He was birthing two nations from her womb, two separate people, one stronger than the other, and the older would serve the younger. Esau and Jacob were born when Isaac was sixty years old.

The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was a quiet man, staying among the tents. Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob. Gen. 25.27,28 NIV

This is the first indication of their troubled marriage. They were not in unity. Never mind for the moment the issue of their disunity (preference for particular children), this lack of singleness of mind is a precursor for trouble. Woman was created to be a helpmeet, an abettor for the accomplishment of God’s will in and through her husband’s life. How will that be done if her heart is opposed to his?

“But,” you submit, “what if you really don’t agree with him, don’t love what he loves?” I understand. God understands. He didn’t say it would automatically happen. That is why older women need to teach younger women this very thing!

Let’s back up a bit. Let’s consider some ways to guard unity before we become entrenched in emotional wars.

1. Share openly and honestly.
Share your intimate thoughts with your husband. Make him your chief confidante and counselor. Rebekah received a word from the Lord. There is no record of her sharing this with Isaac. She hid it in her heart (the right thing to do — after sharing it with him who should know your heart).

If your husband doesn’t know what is moving you, how your heart is inclined, what God has revealed to you, how can he help steward such treasure? He is commanded to watch over you, to give himself for you.

Even if he has not yet responded to these commandments, you need to position yourself so that he can! Our part is to anticipate such care by placing ourselves in a position to receive it. If your husband fails (and all husbands will at some time fail,) take your hurt and disappointment to God. He can heal and bring renewed faith. But we must be willing to try.

2. Do not worry.
If your husband chooses to disregard what is a Word from God, do not fret. If he fails to understand your heart, do not be anxious. Oh, woman of God, do you not know that nothing is too difficult for God? Will your husband’s error be the undoing of all God plans for you? In choosing obedience to your husband, He is honored because you are ultimately choosing obedience to His Word. So stop your worrying. It is not His portion for you. It is not becoming to a daughter of the King.

Is this easy? Sometimes it is a battle. Put on your armor. Stand in truth. And having done all to stand, stand.

3. Use Godly appeals.
Unity doesn’t mean dumb silence, ignorant and blind following. If your husband is making a choice that you are not in agreement with, make a Godly appeal.

Study Esther to learn more about making Godly appeals. A quick overview reveals that she was respectful and honoring of her husband’s position; she was feminine (in her submissive attitude and caring heart); she was well prepared — she and her own had sought God through prayer and fasting; she chose the right place and time.

4. Continue in prayer.
You have prayed. You have made Godly appeals. Now you continue in prayer, releasing the outcome to God, recommitting your allegiance to the man with whom you have been mysteriously made one, realizing that God will be honored in all of this. The rest is in His hands.

Pray without ceasing. These matters can shake us at times. We can feel emotionally undone. Do not let your faith in Him be undermined by emotion. Cling to what is good and right. Battle in prayer. Battle for unity.

I am not saying that God will automatically turn your heart to one of complete agreement. That is not a requisite for embracing unity. An understanding that He reigns over all allows us to choose unity, to choose to support our husbands.

True unity of heart is this: “I believe that God has called me to be your helpmeet. That includes this decision. Since this decision is not a direct disobedience of God’s Word, I choose to support you in it. I will do my best to see you and all involved succeed, for that is God’s will for my life. His grace will enable me to do it!”

If the decision made later proves to be faulty, we will not be tempted to judge and pronounce, “I told you so” because we were united in heart with them. If failure comes, we remind them that God is in control, that they are called to great things, and that He is our shield and refuge. He will work all things together for good!

Because you have cultivated unity through faith, acting out proper submission and a willingness to support, you now will have words of genuine faith to share with him when most needed. Had you not cultivated such unity his heart would now decline your counsel; your heart would not be full of good things and disunity would persist.

Marriage requires commitment to unity. It is not automatic but will require great effort. A commodity such as unity is well worthy of our greatest endeavors.

Titus 2 has no minced words here. No vague concepts. Try as we might to evade this challenging topic, and boy have we tried, the word is simple and straight forward.

“…the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things– that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” Titus 2.3-5 NKJ

We’re coming to the end of our year long study of Titus 2. Next we thought we would spend a year or so studying various women of the Bible. The two will overlap this month as we study Rebekah’s disobedience and betrayal to her husband.

As we finish up our study of Titus 2 with Paul’s exhortation to older women to “teach the younger women to be…obedient to their own husbands…” I thought we would look at an example of what not to do. I usually don’t approach things from the negative vantage point, but, sad to say, Rebekah provides lessons learned the hard way.

Let me state a disclaimer: I’m not down on Rebekah. A reading of her life story reveals that she possessed certain virtues that I envy. But later in life she made some serious errors which we would be wise to learn from. After all, if someone else did it and it backfired, maybe we should try a different approach.

Here’s the beginning of her story.

Isaac was born to Abraham late in his life. In preparation for his death, Abraham sends his servant back to the land where his family dwells to find a wife for Isaac from among his father’s household. Read Genesis 24 for the account of God’s marvelous provision to Isaac on Abraham’s behalf. Rebekah, a young woman in her father’s house (probably you and I would consider her to be but a girl), hears of the servant’s search for a suitable spouse for his master, is plied with golden earrings and bracelets, asks a few questions and is off — plopped on top of a camel with her few worldly possessions, then sent with her nurse and some servants to meet this relatively unknown man who is destined to be her husband.

Let’s realize, she has been trained for this. From a young age she has learned the ways of her culture, been taught home management and how to care for a husband and children, dreamed of what that husband and those children would be like, and is more prepared than most American 20 year old women for such important doings. None the less, I am sure it was hard. Unless life was horrendous in her father’s house, she was leaving safety, comfort, and familiarity for unknown places, people, and culture.

But her brother and her mother replied, “Let the girl remain with us ten days or so; then you may go.” But he said to them, “Do not detain me, now that the Lord has granted success to my journey. Send me on my way so I may go to my master.” Then they said, “Let’s call the girl and ask her about it.” So they called Rebekah and asked her, “Will you go with this man?” “I will go,” she said. Genesis 24.55-58

You and I would be reticent, I suspect. If such an offer were made to my husband regarding our daughter, I know how he would probably respond. And I think my daughters would be less than excited.

This girl was a faith-filled young lady, exuding a sense of confidence in her God. After traveling a long distance, she sees a man in the distance, discovers that it is Isaac her future husband, veils herself, and soon becomes his wife.

A new family is established. A new life begins for Rebekah. It was a life conceived in the heart of God. His will brought her to this place. She embraced her call to this adventure, abandoning herself to all but His plan, giving herself wholly to it. This is faith at its best and she is starting out on the right foot.

That is “a very good place to start!”

May you and I, as we discover His will for us this week — whether it be a challenge to love more consistently, speak with more nurture and care, honor our husbands in word and deed, or declare His goodness instead of complaining — receive His purpose readily and willingly, even as Rebekah has shown us today when she answered, “I will go.”

We find in this passage a Biblical example of a woman whose life was exemplified by good works. In fact, she was “full of good works and charitable deeds which she did.” This had become her identity. Not bad. I find it interesting to note as well that Dorcas is the only woman in scripture referred to as a disciple (a learner and doer, a devoted follower.)

Dorcas spent her life doing good works, charitable deeds. She had chosen to die to her own wants, maybe even needs, so that her life could be invested in serving others. For what, specifically, did she give up her life? We see the evidence of some good works: tunics and garments which she had made.

For whatever reason, God chose to raise her from the dead. Could it be that her ministry in Joppa was of great value and not yet finished? Also, God felt her work of garment making was important enough to gain a place in scripture for all to read about through the ages. His ways are not our ways, are they?

Dorcas lived in a fishing village. The men here were engaged in a dangerous lifestyle; there were probably many lonely and needy widows. Dorcas was not undone by the need, not intimidated, but found a way to care for them.

We sometimes hesitate because we cannot meet the entire need in someone’s life. God does not ask us to. He simply is looking for women who will care enough to do their part. Don’t be awkward in the face of adversity; lose yourself in the interest of others. Consider their need above your own discomfort. Providing practical help is demanding but accessible to most of us in one way or another.

Some promises from God:

If you extend your soul to the hungry And satisfy the afflicted soul, Then your light shall dawn in the darkness, And your darkness shall be as the noonday.
The Lord will guide you continually, And satisfy your soul in drought, And strengthen your bones; You shall be like a watered garden, And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. Isaiah 58.10,11 NKJV

And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith. Galatians 6.9,10 NKJV

Great and precious promises await those who obey and look to do good, the good works for which they were created!

Just exactly what happens when women learn to be good. What does it look like? What is the fruit evidenced in their lives of such goodness?

“Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man, well reported for good works: if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work.” 1 Timothy 5.9,10

Did you note that list of good works? Maybe these aren’t the kinds of things you consider noteworthy — maybe you were thinking of great things instead. But here we have it — these things are identified by God as good works. Guess we should take a look!

1. bringing up children

Don’t forget, you can have impact on children. Whether yours or your neighbor’s, you can touch that young life. Do this good work, do it regularly, do it intentionally. Make a plan to influence the children in your sphere.

2. lodging strangers

Show hospitality to neighbors, new folks in town, a visitor at church, or a student away from home. Your home can bless someone. Make a plan today for such ministry.

3. washing saints’ feet

Serve believers in practical ways: make a meal, send a note of encouragement, clean their home when they are sick, babysit when they need a break, or help with a ride. You don’t have a plan to do these things? Guess what? Make one!

4. relieving the afflicted

Feed the hungry, clothe those in need, visit the widows and those in prison, care for those who are in need. Find a way to incorporate this in the midst of all your doings. It’s God stuff.

5. diligently follow good works

Once you include these things, keep at it. Do it faithfully. Don’t give up, don’t grow weary in well-doing. There is a promise: in due season you will reap if you do not faint, do not give up or throw the towel in. Keep getting back on track. Just hang in there, doing good works. A crown awaits you. And that’s good. But know what’s even better? You will have accomplished that for which you were created.

The things on that list are not beyond our grasp. God has not required something of us that we cannot do. A hefty financial investment is not necessary (although if it is within your means that may be your privilege, too!) It will cost you time and energy, and will incorporate creativity, gifts that God has given to everyone.

I understand that your time may be at a premium, your energy spent, and your creativity taxed. Young moms especially may feel the squeeze. Just the same, now is the time to establish good works in your routine. Modeling such sacrifice to your children reaps great reward as you see them grow in an understanding of sowing their own time and energy in kingdom service in the days to come. Allowing your 5 yr. old to make a pie with you expressly for the purpose of bringing it next door to welcome that new neighbor teaches them many Godly principles and establishes a pattern of good works in their young life. Training your children to tidy the home for company, greet the visitor properly at the door, serve them food and drink, entertain them, and carry on conversation provides them with tools to use for years to come and allows you to practice hospitality today. Getting involved in a soup kitchen or gift-box ministry to needy children provides opportunity for your children to serve by your side in such valuable ministry.

So, take a survey of how you invest your time and energy. Then begin to plan accordingly. Re-prioritize, add to, revamp, get back on track, or keep it up!

“Be good” — and produce good works. Start today! There’s no better time than now.

If we be good we automatically do good. A corn plant grows corn; an apple tree bears apples; a good bush brings forth good fruit. The Bible makes it clear that one cannot do Godliness or goodness without a heart change. God and good are strongly related. “There is none good but God.”

So we find that in order to do good, we must be good. In order to be good, we must come into relationship with God, walk daily with Him, allow His Spirit control in our lives; in short, we must be His disciples. We can learn goodness and attain goodness in no other way.

Anything else is counterfeit, put-on, fake — mere attempts by mankind to self-satisfy, or to gratify an itch to do something in this life that might bring meaning to chaos and emptiness; something to make men “feel good” about themselves. Bottom line: self is the motivator.

Good is wrapped up in service to others, showing sincere deference to their needs and wishes. It is esteeming others higher than oneself. It is respecting and honoring them as His creation. It is loving those around me — I mean really, truly loving them and doing them good. It is God-sized stuff.

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2.10

This is what we were made for. This is our greatest destiny. To be good, to do good. To serve others. To love as He loved. This is God-sized stuff. I dare you to try and do it on your own. I don’t mean to discourage, but you will fail. We need Him for this endeavor. And the beauty of it all is this: goodness reflects Him — reveals Him — like nothing else will.

Today, love those around you, do good to those who despise you, serve the smallest one of all. Do God-sized stuff. The world waits for, longs for, and needs you, Oh woman of God!

Titus 2.3-5 is a condensed guide — a syllabus, a curriculum for study — of what God has planned for women. We’ve been studying this text since last March. (Check out our archives for an in-depth refresher!) I figure if you want to know how to please someone, find out what he wants you to do and do it. Since God laid it out so nicely in this passage, we might as well apply wisdom and take advantage of it! Let’s have a refresher and read it:

Titus 2:3-5 “…the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things—that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the work of God may not be blasphemed.”

Don’t look now, but that scripture just said that older women are to teach younger women to be “good”. Wow. How is that for trite, blase’, ordinary, unimpressive, dull, boring, way less than “cool” — and downright unexciting. Good. The word conjures up memories of handwritten report cards. You could get excellent or needs improvement or just plain ol’ good. Somehow I came away feeling less than satisfied when I saw those cursive letters spelling out g-o-o-d.

But here it is; God wants us to be good. Is there something there that I’ve missed?

good -
1. morally excellent; virtuous; righteous
2. satisfactory in quality, quantity, or degree
3. of high quality; excellent
4.right; proper; fit

I think I get the point. Goodness is excellence. It satisfies God’s heart. It is appropriate, fitting for God’s people. It is right that we should be good.

Strong’s Concordance has this entry for the word “good” in our text:
1. of good constitution or nature
2. useful, salutary
3. good, pleasant, agreeable, joyful, happy
4. excellent, distinguished
5. upright, honourable

Women who please God and represent Him faithfully are to be pleasant and agreeable, joyful and happy, upright and distinguished.

I think that gives me something to meditate on. And more than enough to work on today!

Homes are built.

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14.1

We can, according to this verse, build or tear down our home. One is considered wise, the other foolish. The choice is ours. We build with wisdom and understanding.

By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures. Proverbs 24.3,4

We find wisdom and understanding in the Word of God. We walk in the light of such wondrous knowledge by the power of the Holy Spirit. We apprehend such power through faith. And faith comes from the Word of God.

Guess it looks like this: we need the Word of God in our lives if we hope to build homes.

What does this mean our homes will look like? Does the Word of God paint a clear picture? Are we all supposed to be making whole wheat bread — with fresh milled flour, no less? Should our homes be lavish or simple? Are kids to be homeschooled, unschooled, public schooled? Do we need to have guests at every meal? None? How should we celebrate holidays? What does the Bible prescribe regarding all of these things?

I want to suggest that every home will look different in the details. In fact, it will be impossible to have your home look just like your neighbor’s home. To begin with the people in it are different, and one thing I know — God delights in creativity, making each one of us entirely unique. I, for one, am happy about that. But that means that necessarily what you bring to your home will be unique, entirely different from any other.

So, throw out your conception of “cookie cutter” home. Only in magazines can they all look so identical, so indistinguishable, so sterile, actually. Those picture perfect settings lack a sense of “life”, a touch of reality and originality that comes from healthy people creating and affecting their space. Sad to say, we are becoming more and more inclined to think a home should look like Pottery Barn or Better Homes and Garden “House of the Year”.

I’ve heard women say that they are not creative. Here’s a case in point that underscores our need for the Word to bring understanding, our dependence upon the Holy Spirit to equip us for walking in revealed truth, and the exigence for faith which comes from hearing the Word of God. My Bible says that these women were created in His image, the image of the Creator of all things. Hmmm. I don’t know what that means to you, but it tells me that we were all endowed with creativity. Our problem arises when we categorize and quantify creativity through our vain comparisons. We often look at the home down the street and covet that woman’s talent instead of appreciating and developing our own God-given abilities. Your creativity may come in the form of organization rather than decorating. Or cooking rather than fashion. Science may be discussed around your table more often than music. Or perhaps you would rather read a new novel and be moved by that story.

All to say, your management style may differ from your sister’s, your decor may not look like Pottery Barn, your approach to cooking won’t be the same as your friend’s. That is okay! The Word of God does not define the particulars; it deals with principles. And most of those principles deal with people, not surroundings. Our emphasis on the physical is a distraction from the essential. Let’s rearrange our priorities!

Learn how to love, how to deal with conflict, how to honor your parents, how to live in an orderly way, how to manage finances responsibly, how to provide physical nourishment and protection. These are some of the concepts taught in the Word.

But how will these principles look when applied? It will differ. The “how” is not as important as the “doing”. For instance, having order is a Biblical precept for living but how you accomplish order will be different than how I accomplish order. Honoring my mom and dad may mean providing the best bed in the house when they come for a visit. If this honestly is not what your parents want, then you need to honor them by providing what blesses them most. Your husband may want his closet arranged in a certain way. That same method may not meet my husband’s needs. This is where creativity comes in to play. Take the principles from the Word, observe others for the purpose of gleaning ideas, and then apply what you’ve learned accordingly — tweaking, inventing, and altering as needed to fit the unique combination of personalities and circumstances of your home.

Here is a little ditty I learned somewhere that kind of sums it up:

Methods are many; principles are few.
Methods often change; principles never do.

Don’t be afraid to borrow from others, but don’t be confined by what you see either. Learn to use what works for you, to eliminate the distractions, to be who God has made you to be! He has made you wonderful!

home — the place where one has fixed his residence, one’s settled abode, domicile (from Strong’s concordance)

So the woman is to keep (to maintain in condition or order, as by care and labor: He keeps his car in good condition.) home. To be busy at home. To work at home. To be a home”maker”.

Apparently, home doesn’t just make itself. It isn’t instant, automatic. It requires work, busy-ness.

Does God’s inclusion of this instruction in the same list as modesty, loving children, and loving husband connote a certain importance? He concludes the list by noting that we should do these things so the Word of God might not be blasphemed. Well, that certainly brings a sense of sobriety to all of this, doesn’t it?

Another question: Does our modern day culture place that same emphasis on homemaking? Is a similar level of importance accorded to homemaking today in America? In other words, are we taught to “keep” home as a primary function along with loving husband and children?

We can find innumerable books, magazine articles, and television segments dedicated to time management, 20-minute menu ideas, “quality time versus quantity”, handling stress, juggling job and home, etc., all of which could be pointed to as proof positive that we are focused on home. But the very subject matter of these articles implies something different: homemaking has been relegated to a secondary position that is now squeezed in between other more important activities. A woman’s career, education, or money-making ability is most important. At the very least, she should give her life to some noble cause intended to relieve the world of hunger or pain, gaining some sort of acknowledgment for her good deed. And then — only then — somehow, somewhere along the line she should help her husband (if she has one) make a home utilizing streamlined, time-efficient methods. Bunk.

Bottom line: we’re being told “it’s all about me and my fulfillment”. This foundational premise is the antithesis of keeping home, an endeavor centered on a service for others who consider a certain place to be their abode, their residence. Keeping home may result in accolades — (Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Proverbs 31.28,29 NIV)
— but most likely you will not be showcased on a magazine cover or given a Christmas bonus. The rewards, instead, are simple but clear. Obedience to God brings Him pleasure. Service to your husband provides him a refuge. A healthy place of growth for your children is established. Around your table there is ample ministry (physical, emotional, and spiritual) freely shared with neighbors and friends. These are the benefits, the fulfillment, the joy, the reward.

Since creation the Hebrew culture has been home-centered. Judeo-Christian morality continues to promote this paradigm. Innumerable generations of Judeo/Christian homes have provided the core for family life and major life events. But today’s culture has shifted the center of living, the core of family life, away from the home. Major events once experienced at home now take place in institutions. At one time we welcomed babies into our world at home. We nursed family members to health at home. We celebrated weddings at home. We died at home. No longer — we have become institutionalized. Homes are now merely pit-stops for refueling, hotels for crashing, closets for storing. But they are not the hub for sharing life experiences.

Sharing momentous occasions intimately, consistently, is a powerful bond. Today, the “glue” that holds family together has been diluted; in many cases it has completely evaporated. The result is not surprising: broken homes, unstable individuals, shattered lives.

“It takes a heap o’ livin’ in a house to make a home…”

I believe that a culture that no longer promotes the keeping of home as a primary function is blaspheming the word of God. Individuals are responsible in spite of culture, no doubt, and will answer to God for their obedience or disobedience. But a culture as a whole either embraces Biblical paradigms of truth or rejects them. I want to strongly suggest that women (and men) flee from this culture’s idea of home and rediscover God’s plan. It is no small matter in His eyes.

Next time we will consider all that home is intended to be. It may not look familiar, but if it is His plan, it is good!