On the whole, women in our culture are not taught how to love and serve a husband. We learn how to catch a husband, how to be equal to a husband, how to manipulate a husband, and how to lose a husband (too often by example), but we are not taught how to please a man in a long term relationship.
As wives there are ample opportunities for demonstrating love for our husbands in practical ways. A site was recently recommended: http://www.the-generous-wife.com/ You can receive daily tips and reminders of things to do which will communicate love and support. Here are a few basic beginning points.
Provide healthy meals in timely fashion. Learn to know his likes and be happy to accommodate his preferences cheerfully. Manage your life, as much as possible, around his schedule. Some guys work crazy hours which may not always allow for shared meals, but try to come up with a system which provides good foods for him. And cater to him by making his favorite dish or dessert from time to time, even if it’s not his birthday!
Keep his clothes clean and available. It’s that simple.
Minister to his desire for physical relationship. Never hold back, be generous in this area. Learn to serve him even if it may not be the top thing on your list for that day. If it’s on his list, it’s important that you not only participate, but do so gladly. Granted, husbands in this day and age aren’t taught about a woman’s needs in this arena, but that is not what I am addressing at the moment. That’s for him to learn. Your responsibility and privilege is to bless him. Warmth and genuine affection communicate care, appreciation, respect, and desire. He needs to know you find him attractive. And he needs to know you are happy to belong to him.
Be a good listener. Just sit and hear him out before lending him your two cents. Maybe his pocket is already full change and he doesn’t really need your opinion (right then anyway.) Just listen and care about his heart and dreams. Show sincere interest in the things that interest him. Learn about those things and genuinely care about them.
Be kind. Guard your words, keep your countenance pleasant, write notes of encouragement or love. Show him all the courtesy that you show your friends. As your husband he deserves that and more.
Do yourself and him a favor: guard his time, especially his family time and devotional/study time. Screen phone calls when he is in prayer or study. Train your children to respect his need for privacy and time with the Lord. Keep non-family members from interrupting unnecessarily during special times set aside for the children or you. In our modern world, intrusion upon privacy seems constant. Help guard him from the onslaught.
Every relationship will have particular and peculiar opportunities to express love in very hands-on practical ways. Love that isn’t visible and tangible is not truly functioning. We deceive ourselves if we think we love when these practical areas are lacking expression of genuine care. Real love is observable by others and experienced in real ways by those we care for.