Parenting
More on discipline
Several weeks ago, we answered a question about dealing with two kids fighting, but realized quickly that we had simply skimmed the surface of a significant topic: discipline.
That’s why, for the next few weeks, we’re going to take more time answering questions and delving into this important issue.
Believe it or not, the Bible has plenty to say on this issue. God Himself gives children into our stewardship, and asks us to train and raise them to fulfill His purposes for their lives. Given the importance of such a mission, shouldn’t we also feel confident that He will give instruction on the how of training and raising? Well, He does! In His word, we can find instruction for how to relate to our children, the goals we should have for them, and the methods for how to train and instruct them.
This may seem like, “Well, of course!,” on the surface, but the truth is that our ears are tickled all day long by the world’s counsel on childtraining. Obedience to the Word requires faith, and obeying in faith means often we don’t see the results right away. It’s at this point of our faith being tested that suddenly the article in Parenting magazine, or the new solution offered by a friend, sounds appealing. And suddenly, we’ve abandoned the truth of the Word.
As we commit to obey the Word in this matter, questions are bound to arise. Questions like the one I find myself asking lately: “Okay, we’re in the middle of the store, and he’s not listening. Now what??”
Or how about learning to understand foolishness versus disobedience? Or knowing when a spanking is needed, and when a life lesson can be taught?
There are many questions to be asked and answered. The first to answer is simply this: that the Bible needs to be our foundation. For the mom who feels in over her head at times, it’s good to know that your feet are firmly planted on a Rock — and they can be!
If you have a question about childtraining or discipline, please send it our way, and we’ll do our best to include it in this discussion. I know I’m looking forward to having my heart stirred for how God will use my efforts in training to shape my children into men and women of faith. I’m also excited about passing on a foundation of scriptural truth to my children as I embrace it myself.
As I’ve been thinking about this lately, the first stanza of a favorite hymn has been coming to mind. Let me share it with you in closing:
How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can he say that to you he hath said,
To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?
Discussion
7 comments for “More on discipline”
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Okay, so, just to get the juices flowing, I’ll post a couple of MY questions!
1. Discipline in front of an unbelieving family — how? Any pointers?
2. (Hypothetical, obviously, for me, but still wondering) discipline for the saved wife with an unsaved spouse?
No questions or answers to your questions. Just a note to say I’m relieved to see what you all have to say. I’ve read varying opinions on discipline and how to do it, all from Christian perspectives claiming to be God’s method and in obedience to His word. I feel a little tired out by wondering “What do I do NOW” often.
Both parents are genuine believers in Christ, and generally agree on the methods of childrearing.
One of the parents notices serious problems with the discipline techniques of the other.
#1 If Dad notices a problem with how Mom is relating with the children, how should he handle it?
#2 If Mom notices a problem with how Dad is relating with the children, how should she handle it?
(I assume the two questions would be answered differently)
#3a How can we avoid our highly impressionable toddlers from picking up bad behavior from other family’s children without becoming secluded hermits? (”no!” hitting, pushing, standing on tables, climbing the walls,… you name it!)
#3b How do we cure the the misbehavior “virus” they’ve already caught?
#4 You know the 12-month-old (younger or older) is throwing a self-centered fit, but because of his/her age and inability to effectively communicate, Mom and Dad do not know how to nip it in the bud. Any advice?
#5 How does a mom who’s insecure about childrearing still continue trying to make it work? *WAAAAH!*
How have you handled lying?
How do you know when your child is too old to be spanked? What comes next in disipline if their too old to go over the lap?
When do you use Scripture in child discipline? In the heat of the moment or at a neutral time?
Lots of questions posted.
Hopefully answers coming soon?
1. What does your family use as a “rod”? Is it different for your different children?
2. What happens if your child doesn’t cry when being spanked, and is clearly “just taking it”? Harder spankings? Different rod? Alternate, more piercing forms of punishment?
3. In what circumstances do you apply mercy instead of discipline? When and how much?
4. How do you handle situations when your child immediately repents after sinning, and you discern that its because he/she wants to avoid spankings? (We personally still spank in these instances, because their has clearly been no heart change. But, I was still wondering what your response would be.)
Thanks for the discussion. It’s such a huge topic!!! And one that certainly cannot be ignored! I look forward to all the answers :)
Sarah D.