Singleness

Trusting the Lord

Behind every feministic view lies a deception that has settled into the core of a person and manifested itself as something our current worldview thinks attractive and even worse, correct. Often it is insecurity, self-protection, rebellion, or anger. Whatever the first whispers of lies or un-dealt with sin, the result has been years of our culture embracing something that is opposite to what God has intended.

The Woman’s Rights Movement has been pushing its way through our world for over a century. It began with the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848 which ultimately put in motion a forum for rebellion and insistence against what God called good. Included were statements such as, “In the covenant of marriage, she is compelled to promise obedience to her husband, he becoming, to all intents and purposes, her master – the law giving him power to deprive her of her liberty and to administer chastisement.” Eph 5:22-24 would say exactly the opposite of this Sentiment. Titus 2 also specifically states the need for obedience from a wife to her husband.

(As a side note: It is my suspicion that before this Declaration of Sentiment was produced, that the latter part of this section of Ephesians was perhaps not being heeded or deemed as necessary. However, I don’t consider this a good excuse to go against the principles which God was laying out for a marriage. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word…”)

The Lord set up an order for households. A body has one head. Just as the Church has a head – God – so should the home have one head – the husband. It just works. When a man loves and respects his wife, and a wife is obedient and honoring of her husband, there is peace and harmony. One isn’t as easy to do without the other, although still necessary to embrace.

Maybe this is bothering you a bit. Perhaps it rubs you the wrong way. Even when we often – as a Christian culture – attempt to embrace the order of a home, we have allowed feminism to sneak in and there isn’t room for both in our lives.

I am familiar with the irritation that grows as someone begins to talk about this. I always knew it as Truth and was able to preach it with the best of them, but it felt like sand paper against skin when someone would talk about God’s heart for a woman’s role. Insecurity and the “vulnerability=heartache” equation led to my embracing of feminism, which led to rebellion and a hard heart. I didn’t want anything that resembled what I had grown up with because I interpreted it as the “default” in the Christian culture. I assumed that people chose to get married and have lots of children because they assumed it was just what they were supposed to do, rather than feeling specifically called by the Lord to choose this lifestyle. I despised conformity for the sake of conforming. I wanted to know that I would be fulfilled in my life and that I would do something specifically designed for me.

As I headed off on my own after high school I discovered that I wasn’t feeling fulfilled in my choices and I couldn’t put my finger on why not. (Brilliant girl, I know!) When the Lord brought me home during the hardest season of my life, I found comfort and solace in the one place I had wanted to leave as soon as I could. I began to understand that home was what I was supposed to love. More than that, I was falling in love with the protection of being under my father’s covering and counsel. That surprised me.

I began to peel away the layers of feminism that I had put into place in my life. Whatever the reason for it being there, I had put up walls against embracing true Biblical womanhood and taking them down cost me and sometimes even hurt.

There was a time during the process of being delivered from the lies of feminism that I felt empty and hollow – like I had nothing to fill the void that was now in my heart. Where were the dreams? the vision for life? the ambitious goals? And what was I supposed to do now? I panicked and worried that I wouldn’t be ME any more. How little did I trust the Lord! HE remained faithful to me even in my fears and distrust and proved to me that HE has greater things than I could have ever imagined.

And now here I am, five years after I graduated from high school as an “18-year-old determined to be out on her own and far away from home doing something huge and great girl” living at home once again; I own a hair salon a short fifteen minute drive away; and I find joy in serving the local church and the community around me. The joy that is found by doing whatever the Lord may call you to — however big or little — is worth every sacrifice. If we aren’t sacrificing something, than what makes us any different than the world around us anyway?

Discussion

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  1. Carina, that was such beautiful testimony. I see so many similar parallels to myself at age 17/18.

    I am so blessed at the joy I have found in being a homemaker, mother and wife. God has done such a work in my heart. But I didn’t realize I still had a tiny bit of feminism stuck until the other day.

    I have felt distraught over the years about my daughters’ futures. After all, I can’t train them to be homemakers right? Because they may choose a career.

    And all of a sudden in a quiet time the Holy Spirit convicted me. I realized that I still didn’t givehomemaking in the respect and honor that it truly deserves. If I live and teach that I’m serving the Lord in the greatest capacity.. my girls will naturally WANT to model that. What a shocker, huh? :-)

    Thank you for your transparency, it is so good to see God redeeming the lives of women :-)

    Posted by Katie | March 31, 2008, 12:55 pm
  2. Hi Carina! Thanks so much for sharing your heart so openly. God has done wonderful things to change my heart on these matters as well. How I praise Him for that!

    A funny (or not so funny really) memory… When I was in the ninth grade (1984 or so – lol), I remember our teacher asking what we were hoping to do after high school. Only one girl in our class wanted to be a wife and mother. The rest of us were so shocked! Was that ALL she wanted to do?!

    I remember that as I thank the Father that being a wife and a mommy – doing and being what He would have – is “all I want to do” these days.

    Love to you, Q

    Posted by Quinne | March 31, 2008, 4:42 pm
  3. I pray often for those who come through the doors of your salon. And for you as you serve and minister!

    Posted by LisaCriscitello | March 31, 2008, 6:42 pm
  4. Great testimony, Keans, of His leading and faithful work in your life! Those transition years can be tumultuous years, and parents are gladly reminded of His great faithfulness and power in daughters’ lives. Thanks so much for sharing – I am sure it encouraged many hearts! It was super!

    And if anyone out there wants another encouraging testimony, click on Louissa’s thumbnail photo (each individual photo links to our personal blogs) and read Louissa’s post entitled “I Will Walk By Faith”. Always good to see His hand upon our lives.

    Posted by darlene | April 1, 2008, 1:59 am
  5. Carina-

    Thanks for sharing! It’s great!
    We have much in common in terms of our testimonies regarding peeling away all those layers of feminism.
    I, too, HATE to do anything just because someone else is doing it (ie. stay at home). I had to (and still do sometimes)ask the Lord what does your will look like for me?

    I am not suprised when He leads me to the Scriptures concerning my position as a wife/mother. They have become the ROCK that I choose to set my life upon and I am not in the least bit regretful!

    When you wrote, “I wanted to know that I would be fulfilled in my life and that I would do something specifically designed for me,” I felt like that was me talking!!! :)

    As an encouragement to a fellow talented performer and all-around Wonder Woman: God has fulfilled my heart WAY more than I could have ever imagined!!! AND…He continually shows me new things that He has specifically for me!!! It’s a thrill!!! I never would have thought I would be doing all of the things I do (and attempt to do)as the A#1 helpmate of the multi-talented Mr. Ronny Diederich!!!

    He truly satisfies our desires with good things!!!

    Thanks for exposing some of the lies here and how those lies directly impacted your relationship with God and His purposes for your life!!!

    Sounds a bit like what I spoke of at Sunday School :)
    You are wise to seek the Lord concerning these things as well as aim to submit to the work of God PRIOR to marriage and a family.

    Way to go, Carina!

    Love,
    Sarah D.

    Posted by Sarah Diederich | April 1, 2008, 6:28 am
  6. Beans,

    Great post. I loved reading all your thoughts there together, well, maybe not all of your thoughts, but a good portion of them. It’s been so great to watch you walk this thing out in your life, and really grasp how big the Lord’s love for you and how heavy His hand upon you!

    I owe you money.
    I keep forgetting. Honestly =)

    Posted by Lore | April 3, 2008, 11:15 am
  7. Carina, thank you for being so honest and open. I love seeing all the Lord is doing in your life right now and I look forward to see what is to come.

    Chelle

    Posted by Michelle Perez | April 4, 2008, 4:43 pm